I was sitting in a session at a training weekend for Youth For Christ workers when the course leader asked us what are the key things to encourage new Christians to do. Top of the list was praying and reading the Bible, as you would expect. Twenty minutes later, the trainer asked another question - what do we as Christians struggle most to do. Guess what? The same answer - praying and reading the Bible. Certainly in terms of maintaining a daily habit.

So why do we find praying so difficult? Is it that praying is inherently hard? Is it that we have a particular idea of praying, and having that idea might not be particularly helpful?

I wonder if it’s because prayer is like breathing. We need to breathe, and we do it fairly automatically, because our body has been conditioned to do that. When it comes to praying, it can be difficult to get into a routine, and even to find a pattern and a style of praying that suits us.

But there’s more to it as well. If we don’t breathe, we die. So if the enemy can stop us from praying, what better way to cripple our spiritual life?

In this guide I will give a variety of ideas and suggestions that may help you to find ways of praying, from which you can find the keys to developing a habit of praying.

Who prays?

Well anyone can pray, of course, but what I’m getting at here is that there are a variety of settings in which you can pray...

On your own - is the most obvious. This is about finding the times and the places that work best for you.
With others - this can be in pairs or in threes (prayer partners and prayer triplets are phrases you may have come across), or it could be in larger gatherings such as small group or even services. Praying in pairs or triplets has the advantage that you can meet regularly and develop a relationship with those you meet with, so that your prayer support for each other is strong. Praying with others can seem a bit scary at first, but its what being church is all about, and we find that everyone is supportive.

What do we pray?

Some of us get really worried about praying because we think you have to use special words or phrases, or say things in a particular way, or follow particular patterns. There are patterns for prayers, and even written prayers that can be very helpful, but these are tools that are available, but are not mandatory.

Essentially prayer is a conversation - a conversation with God. One of my friends from the past used to position two chairs facing each other, then he would sit on one, and imagine that God was sitting on the other. Then he would just have a conversation with God. Remember God calls us his friends (amazingly). Try it and see! Richard Foster writes, “Prayer is a love relationship with God”, and that is so true.

So what do we pray?

I guess most of us think of intercessions when we’re talking about praying - intercessions is when we are praying for a person or for a situation and asking God to do something. But there are many other kinds of praying, such as...

Praise and adoration - telling God what we think of him - how great and amazing he is, what he means to us, and how much we love him. This can be really faith-building for us, as our picture of God grows through this.
Confession - admitting when we have blown it, when we’ve been disobedient, when we’ve hurt others or let ourselves down, and most importantly asking for God’s forgiveness.
Seeking guidance - this can be about everyday things, or it could be major decisions about our lives or our family or work.

Here are a few more ideas...

Listening - we said that prayer is a conversation, but most of us do all the talking and don’t give any time for listening to God. We can do that in the silence, or through reading Bible verses, or learning to recognise God speaking through everyday things. The important thing is to give space to listening.
Praying scripture - how about taking a verse from the Bible and discussing it with God? Spend time chewing over the words or phrases, ask God questions about what it means for you. You can also do this with prayers in the Bible.
Praying your day - how about just going over the day with God, chatting to him about what’s happened, how you feel, as well as looking ahead to the next day and what’s coming up?
Tongues - and when you run out of words to say, or you don’t know what to say, pray in tongues - let your spirit connect directly with the Spirit of God.

When to pray

The Bible tells us to pray without ceasing - or pray continually! It feels like a tall order. But it’s important to remember that we can pray at any time of the day, wherever we are, whatever we are doing. That’s the brilliant thing about prayer! God is always there, ready to listen (unlike us!).

It’s also good to set aside a regular time each day for praying. What works for you best? Is it first thing in the morning, before the bustle of the day starts? Is it last thing at night before you go to sleep? Is it when you get in from work? Or during your lunch break? Find out for yourself.

Prayer and Fasting

Prayer is often linked to fasting (see our lifechoices guide to fasting). The Beatitudes, on which our lifechoices series is based, can be found in Matthew chapter 5. The next chapter (6) is devoted to prayer and fasting and giving. For Jesus, these were three key spiritual disciplines (or practices) that release the power of God in our lives.

As a church we want to provide opportunities for as many people as possible to engage in these. One opportunity will be occasional days of prayer and fasting under the banner of ‘Morning, Noon and Night’, which we are kicking off in the week leading up to Easter. Find out more here.

An Invitation to Prayer

In Richard Foster’s book, ‘Prayer’, he writes that God “is inviting you and me to come home, to come home to where we belong, to come home to that for which we were created. His arms are stretched out wide to receive us. His heart is enlarged to take us in.

“For too long we have been in a far country: a country of noise and hurry and crowds, a country of climb and push and shove, a country of frustration and fear and intimidation. And he welcomes us home: home to serenity and peace and joy, home to friendship and fellowship and openness, home to intimacy and acceptance and affirmation.”

Richard Foster explores different ways of praying, different kinds of prayer in three broad groups:

Moving Inward - seeking the transformation we need. “To pray is to change... How good of God to provide a path whereby our lives can be taken over by love and joy and peace and patience and kindness and goodness and faithfulness and gentleness and self-control.” Sometimes this is simply about bringing ordinary concerns to God, sometimes being honest about feeling alone, sometimes just looking at ourselves, it can be about our tears and our laughter.
Moving Upwards - seeking the intimacy we need. Includes prayers of adoration, praying by resting, praying from our hearts, etc.
Moving Outward - seeking the ministry we need. In essence this is about equipping us so that we can spread God’s love, joy and peace.

Maybe a word or a phrase will have inspired you. Why not get hold of the book?

If you prefer an easier read, have a look at ‘Too busy not to pray’ by Bill Hybels.

Finally, please join us on the first Sunday evening of each month for our Prayer Focus at Rising Brook.

Malcolm Egner, 27/03/2010